What's The Difference Between Approachable And Intimidating Communication?

Which person would you rather spark up a conversation with?

Mr. Approachable

Mr. Intimidating

Why does it matter?

Communication style is how you build relationships with the people around you — friends, family members, peers, co-workers, and yes, fans if you have any! 

To build relationships you need to attract people not repel them.

Differentiating between the two allows you to be intentional in how you communicate.

Think back on people who intimidated you and why you felt intimidated.

• Was it something they said or did? 

• The way they looked?

• Their tone of voice or words they used?

• Their accomplishments?

• Their role, or professional or social stature?

• Their gender or race?

Regardless of what it was for you, different people find different things to be intimidating.

Consider the 5 following key factors to understand how people communicate with each other.

The way you look can contribute to how you present yourself to other people. First impressions are often made on the basis of:

• gender

• race

• ethnic background

• physical size

• hairstyle

• choice of clothing

It's all relative.

How you move speaks volumes.

Body language is what's known as non-verbal communication cues. It's communication through one or more physical behaviors:

• posture

• crossed or relaxed arms

• mannerisms

• gestures

• head tilts

• facial expressions

• eye contact

How you speak opens up or shuts down conversation.

Tone of voice is a combination of:

• volume (loud vs quiet)

• timing (pauses vs run-on)

• pace (fast vs slow)

• inflection (ups and downs)

• use of sounds that convey understanding (uh huh, ahh)

It's not just what you say, it's how you say it.

What's the right amount for you?

Are you giving people the space they need or want?

The right space depends on:

• people's cultural background

• the setting of the conversation

• the nature and closeness of their relationship

Who you are, where you live, and/or what you do for a living can have an impact.

These things communicate for you:

• profession

• role

• place of residence

• belongings (car, jewelry)

• fame/celebrity

• wealth

• credentials

• accomplishments

Is it possible to be both approachable and intimidating at the same time?

Consider how you currently present. Armed with this insight, you can be intentional about how you present in future interactions.

Ask yourself: