Can you believe it?
Over half (58%) of young adults (aged 18 to 24-year-olds) in the US live with their parents, as reported by the US Census Bureau.
Stats Canada's 2021 census found that 35.1% of young adults aged 20 to 34 are living with at least one parent.
Young adults may live with their parents due to economic hardship. However, some capable adults may live with their parents due to "entitled dependence syndrome (EDS)."
The Signs of EDS
The signs can vary depending on the individual, but some common signs include:
Refusing to take responsibility for actions: a reluctance or unwillingness to accept and acknowledge the consequences of your own actions and decisions.
Lacking empathy for other people: an inability or unwillingness to understand and share the feelings of others.
Challenges with criticism or rejection: a struggle in dealing with negative feedback or rejection, often leading to feelings of defensiveness or aggression.
Other signs include:
Strong sense of entitlement: a belief that you deserve more than what you've earned or are entitled to based on your actions and abilities.
Inability to maintain healthy relationships: difficulty establishing and maintaining positive relationships with others.
Challenges with impulse control: acting impulsively without considering the potential consequences of one's actions.
Timmy is caught breaking a vase, but he blames his brother for misplacing it. When his parents confront him about it, he refuses to apologize. Based on this scenario, which sign of entitled dependence syndrome does Timmy's behavior show?
The Causes of EDS
Common reasons behind entitled behavior are:
People who are shielded from challenges.
Developing a sense of entitlement and dependency on others to meet their needs.
Lack of consequences
People who aren't held accountable for their actions.
Believing that they can get away with anything.
People who have experienced trauma such as abuse or neglect
Developing a sense of entitlement as a way to cope with their trauma.
Cultural or societal factors
Some cultures or societies may reinforce the idea that certain people are entitled to certain privileges or benefits, leading to an entitlement mindset.
The "Treatment" of EDS
Instead of thinking the world "owes you something" — an unhealthy belief — work on your mental strength to help you move away from entitled feelings.
Acknowledge the problem that you're overly dependent on others. Are you:
Constantly asking for help to perform basic tasks?
Afraid of being alone?
Unable to make decisions on your own?
Analyze any underlying assumptions that the world owes you, such as:
"Everything should go well for me."
"This undervalues me."
"I'm really unique and special."
"I deserve better."
Prioritize self-improvement over fairness and try the following:
Give yourself credit for your efforts.
Take criticism with grace.
Set goals and work towards them.
Learn from your mistakes.
Tone down your entitlement attitude and try the following:
Recognize your imperfections.
Think about how others might feel.
Don’t "keep score" of your good deeds.
Should you fix the entitlement mentality (entitled dependence syndrome)?
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