Get ready for a bit of a downer...

30 is not the new 20 🥺

Or at least that's what clinical psychologist Meg Jay says in her Ted Talk.

In her words:

Twenty-somethings are like airplanes, just taking off from LAX heading for somewhere west. A slight change in course on takeoff is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji.

So how can you make sure you're the one choosing your destination?✈️

Consider Jay's 3 takeaways (based on clinical research) to make the most of your twenties.

Skip The Identity Crisis And Build Identity Capital

The issue

  • A lot of twenty somethings put off doing something until they figure out the "right thing"

Like Emma, a twenty something, unsure if she wants to pursue art, curation, or another avenue. She works as a server while she figures it out

  • This inaction leads to wasted opportunity; suddenly you've been out of school for 10 years and haven't taken any relevant steps in the field you're interested in

What you can do instead

Emma would be in a better position if she worked part time at an art gallery, since it's at least closer to her field.


Kira is interested in nature but isn't sure of the right career path. What's a good step for her to build identity capital?

The Urban Tribe Is Overrated

The issue

  • Having a close group of friends might sound great, but the human tendency to gravitate people who are like us can actually be limiting because we aren't exposed to other viewpoints and opportunities

  • Most new opportunities (like jobs or romantic partners) actually come through "weak connections" aka friends of friends

    Mean Girls GIF by filmeditor

What you can do instead

The Time To Pick Your Family Is Now

The issue

  • A lot of people feel pressure to settle down with a partner or have kids when their peers do

  • This can lead to people just partnering up with who they happen to be dating at the time (like sitting down in musical chairs) instead of choosing mindfully who to partner with

What you can do instead

  • Be conscious of who you spend your time with - there are no 'practice relationships'

  • Spend time discovering your values and choosing how to spend your time (and with who)

Take Action

Meg Jay may have taken a page out of the cheshire cat's book...

But there's a couple other things you can do no matter your age.


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