Bright yellow sponge on top of a soapy surface Photo by Pille R. Priske on Unsplash

Have you ever felt overworked and unappreciated? This can happen if your partner isn't helping clean your home.

While it can seem hard, talking it out with your partner is the best solution to help them understand how you're feeling about your uneven chore workload.

Discuss Household Roles Before Moving In Together

Before you move in together, sit down and talk about who will be responsible for which chores. Create a list together that you can update as new chores appear.

Consider the following:

  • How frequently do the chores need to be done?

  • Are there seasonal chores?

  • What should be done if one person doesn't have time to clean?

  • Do your chore expectations match?

Be sure you start off on the right foot! Otherwise, you might be in for a shock.

A man and a woman talking at table Photo by Start Digital on Unsplash


Monica and Sam are moving in together next month. What should they work on before they get their keys?

Display Chore Expectations

It can be difficult to remember everything that needs to be done. Hang up a list of chores that shows who's responsible for them and when they need to be completed.

You can hang it near the cleaning products, or in a frequently viewed area. If you'd like to be more private, consider using a tracking app.

Post-It notes on a wall Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Have Monthly Meetings

A calendar in a notebook Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash

Schedule a monthly meeting to talk about the chore workload. Be sure to discuss:

  • If the chore list needs to be updated

  • If the chore workload is balanced and fair

  • How each person feels about the current chore roles

  • How the chore schedule is working for both of you

Make sure that you're happy with the arrangement. Don't be afraid to speak up in the meeting!


Cal and Suki have lived together for a year. Cal thinks Suki has started to clean less. What should they do?

Take Action

Setting chore expectations takes work and energy but it's worth it in the long run!

To make sure your chore expectations are met:


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