Do you have trouble:
saying yes when you really want to say NO?
expressing how you truly feel in the fear of being belittled or ridiculed by someone else?
speaking up for yourself in order to avoid conflict?
letting others borrow/take your things when deep down you don't want them to?
feeling guilty when you make time for yourself or put your self first for a change?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you likely struggle to set boundaries with other people.
So what are boundaries?
An invisible divider that separates you from another person
"Rule book" or guideline that tells other people how they can treat you — what is acceptable and what is not
Firm boundaries can help establish how you expect others to treat you, and prevent you from being taken advantage of!
I'm a bad person if I say no to my friends and family.
So What Are These 6 Boundaries?
Involve thoughts and ideas, including respect and willingness to hear and discuss ideas that may differ from your own
Having an awareness of which topics to discuss and with whom (i.e. what is appropriate in different settings)
E.g., "I don't want to discuss my dating life."
Refer to feelings and emotions
Involve respecting and validating your own feelings, as well as those of others
E.g., "This is really difficult for me."
Items and possessions you own such as your car, clothes, phone, etc.
Deciding what you can and cannot share with different individuals
E.g., "I'm sorry, you can't borrow my car."
Your needs for personal space and comfort with physical touch
Letting others know when these boundaries are being crossed
E.g., "Please don't touch my leg."
Includes consent, agreement, respect, privacy, understanding of preferences
Saying no to things you don't want to do
E.g., "I'm not ready to have sex tonight."
Understanding your own priorities
Ensuring you set enough time aside for yourself and the things you want to/have to do
E.g., "I can't come on Saturday."
If your classmate takes your textbook without asking, what boundary are they violating?