We cope differently with challenging situations we face in life.
When it comes to breakups, you may feel that it's the end of the world!
You might wonder...
Was it the right decision?
How will I manage without them?
You can implement these4 steps to help you through your breakup with your partner.
Step 1: Don't fight your feelings!
Acknowledge them, accept them, and be patient.
Give yourself time to express your feelings and to process your breakup.
You can use a journal to note some of your hidden feelings. You may feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted off your shoulders after writing down your emotions.
Take it easy, embrace all your feelings, and don't judge yourself. You can have different feelings at different times during your breakup and that's normal.
What should you tell yourself when you're overwhelmed with feelings? Select all that apply:
Step 2: Monitor your Thought-Feeling-Behavior Cycle
When recovering from a breakup, it's also important to take note of your:
Negative thoughts = negative feelings = unhealthy behaviors and coping responses! Examples of unhealthy coping responses include avoidance, procrastination, and outbursts. You may also become isolated and suffer from poor self-care.
You may be planning to take a bath, visit a friend, or go to the gym. Your battle starts with negative thoughts like:
"Nothing will make me feel better."
"Visiting my friend will remind me of the good memories we shared with my ex-partner."
"I'm too weak to do this now!"
Your negative thoughts might make you feeldepressed and hopeless and your negative coping responses may be avoidance and procrastination!
After being depressed for 2 weeks following your breakup, you decide to go out with your old friends again. What thoughts will make it harder to go out and start your recovery journey?
Step 3: Replace Your Negative Thoughts
Identifying your negative thoughts is a major step to recovery. Once you do, consider practicing self-affirmation to help refocus your thinking. Here are some "I" statements that you can say out loud:
I have endured hard situations before. I'll be ok!
Nobody is perfect. Even if I made a mistake, that's fine.
I deserve a second chance.
I am lovable, valuable, and worthy.
I can find help if I ask for it.
Step 4: Practice Self-Care
The final step to recovery from your breakup is practicing self-care. You can:
Practice a hobby that you like. Hobbies will bring back good memories and feelings, and can help you ignore negative thoughts and emotions. Yes! You can enjoy your time again and mingle with people that share similar interests.
Ask for help from a therapist and surround yourself with friends and family.
Your family and friends can help you feel loved and accepted. They can also be a source of affirmation and encouragement to improve your self-esteem! They can even share a healthy meal when you need one. Sometimes you need to ask for their help and that's ok!