Have you ever let a friend down? Perhaps you showed up late to a coffee date or completely forgot about their birthday.
If you're truly sorry, you'll want to apologize. Writing an apology is an effective way to say sorry. Use these 4 steps to help you write a sorry message to your friend.
Step 1: Start by apologizing
This is the first step to making amends and lets your friend know the content of your message.
Write "I'm sorry for..." or "I apologize for..." and state specifically state what you're regretful about. Focus on the current problem or situation and don't bring in past mistakes or misunderstandings.
Be authentic and to the point. Longwinded apologies like "I'm very, very, very, sorry..." can come off as insincere.
Example 1:
"I'm sorry for missing our lunch meeting on Thursday."
Example 2:
"I apologize for making us late for the movie."
Quiz
What is the most appropriate example of an apology statement?
Step 2: Take responsibility for your behavior
Following this step demonstrates your awareness of the problem.
Acknowledge your behavior. Own up to the actions that caused your friend to feel hurt. A short explanation is ok, but you shouldn't make excuses for your behavior with a long list of reasons why you behaved that way.
State the impact your actions had. Show you understand how hurt, disappointed, or angry your friend is. This validates their feelings.
Example:
"I'm sorry for missing our lunch meeting on Thursday. I wrote the time wrong in my calendar. This wasted your time and must have been very upsetting."
Step 3: Communicate your plan going forward
This lets your friend know your commitment to improving and correcting the situation.
State specifically how you'll change or make amends. This may involve a change in behavior, replacing a damaged item, or working on a specific personality trait. Don't say things like, "In the future, I promise to do better." This is too vague.
Include steps involved in making this change. Show the hurt person your seriousness to accomplish this change.
Reassure them that it won't happen again. Take a small step to rebuilding trust in the relationship.
Example:
"I'm sorry for missing our lunch meeting on Thursday. I wrote the time wrong in my calendar. This wasted your time and must have been very upsetting.
In the future, I'll confirm the time a couple of days before we meet. I'll make sure to set an alarm on my phone so I won't forget to check in with you."
Step 4: Conclude your message
This last step lets your friend know that you want to repair the damage.
Apologize once more.
Express your hope to resolve the issue. Like Step 1, keep this section brief. Also, think about adding why it's important for this issue to be resolved.
Example:
"I'm sorry for missing our lunch meeting on Thursday. I wrote the time wrong in my calendar. This wasted your time and must have been very upsetting.
In the future, I'll confirm the time a couple of days before we meet. I'll make sure to set an alarm on my phone so I won't forget to check in with you.
Again, I'm truly sorry for not showing up on the day we made plans and for disrespecting your time. I hope we'll be able to work this out because your friendship means a lot to me."
Take Action
Now, it's time to follow through with your apology.
When you write a sorry message for a friend:
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