So you want to have that serious conversation with your partner about marriage.

This is an important talk to have before anyone is ready to "pop the big question" and say "I do!"

Factors that may affect why you want to have this conversation include:

  • Yours and your partner's age

  • Societal and family expectations

  • Cultural differences

  • Personal insecurities

  • Uncertainty about where the relationship is going

Miss piggy as a bride and kermit the frog kissing her on the cheek as the groom.

Talking Points

Here are some talking points to bring into the conversation:

  • Is marriage something you both want?

  • What are some barriers? Red flags? Money?

  • Do we have issues or resentments in our relationship?

  • Do we get along with our families?

  • Why do you want to get married?

  • When do you see yourself married?

  • Are we compatible?

  • Do you both want kids in the future?

  • Are we open and honest with each other?

A couple in bed, male is holding a book Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

If there is anything you feel is important to you, you should be able to feel comfortable talking with them about it before running to the altar and saying "I do"!

Choosing A Time And Place

This is a pretty big conversation, and where you decide to have it really depends on the time and place. Here are some examples of where and when:

DON'T

❌ Discuss it at a family or friends party

❌ Discuss it right after your partner or yourself has had a bad or tiring day

❌ Discuss it with others around

❌ Discuss it in public spaces like restaurants or gyms

❌ Discuss it after drinking or after a fight

DO

✅ Schedule time to discuss alone together

✅Discuss it when you are in a relaxed mood

✅Discuss it when you're both in a connecting mood and opening up is easy

✅Make sure you both have had a good meal and are in no rush to go anywhere

Two girls on a swing talking Photo by Bewakoof.com Official on Unsplash

Where you decide to talk to your partner will depend on your gut feeling. There sometimes is no right time but being in a good head space will always help!

Next Steps

If you and your partner did not have a mutual agreement after the conversation...

🗣 Talk to a counsellor or a professional about how you feel

🧠 Think about what you really want and feel about the relationship

💪🏻 Always value your wants and beliefs, don't change yourself

👥 Find support in your family and friends

👣 Sometimes might be time to let the relationship go and look for someone who wants the same future as you do

Hand that is holding onto another hand but it slips away

Take Action

If you see yourself with your partner together in the future, it is very good to get a clear picture of where you both are headed.

This is us, mother and father laughing together

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This Byte has been authored by

JK

Jasmine Kim

Book Worm