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Do you feel discouraged getting into a relationship and managing OCD at the same time? You're not alone!

One scientist asks another, "Crippling OCD isn't a deal-breaker for you guys?" The answer: "No."

Navigating relationships can be complex — even more so when you add obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) to the equation.

Many people with OCD are happy in their relationships and have proven that the condition doesn't define them.

With some helpful strategies, you can take control of your OCD relationship challenges.

OCD Relationship Challenges

Managing OCD can often make it difficult to control your actions and thoughts. The fear or anxiety around a particular situation affects your ability to operate on a daily basis, affecting relationships in the following ways:

Feeling of Loneliness

To avoid humiliation caused by your intrusive thoughts and compulsions,

you may want to distance yourself from your partner or feel socially isolated. This could add to your stress if you try to hide your OCD from them, or cause helplessness if they aren't aware of your symptoms.
Joey from Friends sitting by himself and staring at a water fountain show piece that resembles a window.

Spontaneous Plans & Stress

OCD can cause anticipatory anxiety when making spontaneous plans because of the unpredictability. It could narrow your options, especially during a flare-up.

For example, people with contamination OCD can find concerts and crowded public markets unpleasant. This could make your partner feel left behind if they don't fully understand OCD.

A woman turning around and saying, "This plan is nuts."

Constant Seeking of Reassurance

It can be exhausting for your partner to feel that they need to reassure you repeatedly. They may struggle to understand the anxieties and fixations caused by OCD, sometimes even finding them odd or unreasonable. In the case of relationship OCD (ROCD), you may also doubt your relationship frequently, causing a rift.

Two people talking. Person 1: "You're my noodle". Person 2: "You're my sauce"

Difficulties with Intimacy

Anxiety from OCD or medications you use to manage it may lead to less interest in sex and romance — your partner might misinterpret this as disinterest in them as a person. It's also possible that intrusive thoughts might happen unexpectedly during your most intimate moments.

A man saying, "Kind of hard to wrap my head around" and making wavering actions with both his hands.

These OCD relationship challenges can be tackled through 4 effective strategies!

1. Foster a Healthy Relationship

A man saying, "Open heart, open mind."

Open and Honest Dialogue

Honest communication is essential. You should feel safe discussing your symptoms, triggers, and coping mechanisms with your partner. Welcome your partner to ask questions and express concerns about any OCD relationship challenges you might face.

Increase Awareness through Education

Encourage your partner to learn about OCD. This will help them recognize your signals or triggers. Be mindful of the tendency of reassurance that might show up during your conversations with them. Couples therapy can also help you manage major OCD relationship strains.

Did you know?

2. Seek Guidance & Support

A leaning tree branch supported by a sculpted hand below it. Photo by Neil Thomas on Unsplash

Find a Therapy that Works for You

Evidence-based treatments like ERP for OCD can transform your relationship's quality of life. It can help you and your partner recognize your symptoms and support your condition with psychological treatment, as well as medication.

Join Support Groups for Inspiration

Everyone's journey is unique to them. Having a helpful community that understands your challenges can help you feel motivated. It also allows you to learn from your peers, which may help you give a different perspective on your relationship situation.

Did you know?

Support groups "help improve understanding and well-being while also lowering anxiety and depression."

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3. Invest in Yourself

A person enjoying the warmth of the morning sunlight , sitting by the window and having a cup of coffee by themselves.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Avoid excessive reassurance, going overboard with OCD discussions, or asking your partner to participate in your rituals.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can seem challenging, especially with OCD. It's a great way to intentionally allow thoughts to exist without acting upon them. Working on mindfulness techniques can help ease the triggers for OCD. 

Nurture Your Independence

Balancing support with keeping your individuality is important. Your partner will naturally look out for you all the time, which can be counter-productive. People with OCD can learn to feel okay with being left alone and caring for themselves. Giving space to each other is healthy in the long run.

Did you know?

People who practice mindfulness have less urge to reward their thoughts with compulsions when compared to distraction techniques. A 2013 study showed that patients with OCD who used mindfulness skills (i.e. letting thoughts come and go without judgment) felt less of an urge to neutralize thoughts with compulsions — while those who used only distraction strategies (i.e. trying to think of something else) saw no change in their urge to use compulsions.

4. Grow Together in the Rlationship

Managing OCD relationship challenges isn't a linear journey.

Doc from Back to the Future putting on glasses and saying, "Where we're going, we don't need roads."

Here's how you can make it easier on yourself and your relationship:

  • Emphasize progress over perfection.

  • Learn to navigate relapses and setbacks together.

  • Celebrate small wins to strengthen your emotional connection.

OCD Relationship Quiz: The Next Step

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Scenario

You've been dating someone for a while. They know you have OCD but you're not sure if they're ready to commit to a long-term relationship with you.

Which approaches can be helpful in managing this OCD relationship challenge?

A. Be direct and ask spontaneously if they're ready to commit to a long-term relationship. It's a great way to get truthful answers.

B. Pay attention to how they respond to your OCD in daily life. It gives you a perspective on their understanding, patience, and willingness to support you.

C. Ask their friends to get an insider viewpoint. Friends know you best.

D. Have an honest dialogue, expressing your feelings and asking them about their views on long-term commitment. This helps you understand each other's expectations moving forward.

Quiz

Which of the approaches mentioned above can be helpful? Select all that apply:

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Don't let OCD relationship challenges get in the way of your bond with your partner!

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