You've spent all week anticipating your first date.
You chose a cozy coffee shop where your date can order their favorite drink. You ironed your favorite shirt or found the perfect pair of heels.
You know that this time, you will look into your date's eyes and feel that spark that lets you know this will be the first of many dates to come.
But instead of a spark, there's disappointment. Your date either complains about their ex or brags about their bobblehead collection of past presidents. Your vision of a future together crumbles.
And then they ask for a second date!
You don't want to hurt your date's feelings, but you want to be clear.
How do you say "no" to a second date?
Ghosting is when you don't respond to your date in the hopes they will get the hint and disappear.
Use your words! Clear communication will give your date closure, and you won't have to pretend you moved to Mars.
Don't Say This
So you've decided not to ghost. How do you avoid the awkwardness that comes with saying no to a second date?
If you would like to be friends after dating, great! But don't say "Let's be friends" if you don't mean it. You want to be honest, but not long-winded.
You do not owe your date a long explanation. Don't criticize or argue.
Respond to your date with a simple, short statement.
Sending a text is acceptable. Since you've only had one date, a long explanation is unnecessary.
A short statement such as, "I had a great time last night, but I don't feel a romantic connection" should be enough.
The day after a date, you receive the following text.
You had a good time, but you are not interested in a second date. How should you respond?
A. Don't text back. You don't want to hurt their feelings, and they will get the hint.
B. Sounds great, but not tomorrow. Maybe some other time.
C. I had a good time last night, but I'm not interested in a second date. Take care!
D. Thanks, but no thanks. I can't date someone who thinks orange juice is better with pulp.
Which response is best?
Saying no to a second date creates the opportunity for you to say yes to a date you want!