Friendships offer social and emotional support.
When a considerable amount of time has passed since you've talked to a friend, you feel uncomfortable with reopening lines of communication.
What do you say? What if they don't want to talk with you?
Why Did You Grow Apart?
A relationship, especially a friendship, is a two-way street. Assess why a friendship grew apart. Were there angry words and hurt feelings involved or did distance cause the split?
A betrayal versus moving away for college carry different weights.
Weigh the Pros & Cons
renew and strengthen trust
reminisce about the past
get closure for past incidents
reopen emotional wounds
return to an unhealthy relationship
negatively affect your other relationships
Reconnecting After Moving Away
After moving away for college, she is returning to Atlanta for her new job in the local art scene. She wants to reconnect with her old friends.
is a teacher
disparaged Alexis' dream job as an artist
gossiped about Alexis and her family's income
is a sculptor
works at an art gallery
was Alexis' Vice President in their high school art club
is an architect
has known Alexis since middle school
sees Alexis when she visits home every Thanksgiving
is an art curator
pressured Alexis for a romantic relationship
is a part of the local art committee
Who should Alexis avoid?
What Will You Say?
Think about why you want to reconnect.
You might want to relive nostalgia, seek closure, or express interest. This shapes how you approach the conversation to get the desired outcome.
Break the ice with a memory
Reach out on a holiday or birthday
Be direct, open, and honest
Address the issues that might exist
Share life updates and allow them to do the same
Make definitive plans to meet again
Don't Go In With Expectations
People grow and change. Your friend will likely have different feelings, goals, and values.
If they reciprocate, remember that your friend has changed since you first knew them. You have changed! Build your friendship up with time and care.
They might not want to be your friend. Be prepared for rejection. Accept their decision.
You could even reconnect then decide against continuing the friendship.
Ask yourself if you will be able to retain the rekindled friendship. A friendship takes time and commitment. Reaching out is just the start.