How do I move beyond a breakup?

Life is full of surprises and uncertainties, and so are relationships...especially when they end!

One moment you may feel happy, and the next you may find yourself shedding tears.

Breakups may be challenging and emotionally draining experiences. However, it's important to take care of yourself during this time and give yourself time to heal.

Breakups can be difficult to deal with!

It's common to find yourself dwelling over them long after they've ended.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Tips that may help you stop dwelling over a breakup:

• Allow yourself to grieve: It's important to acknowledge and process your emotions after a breakup.

• Stay busy: Keeping yourself occupied with activities you enjoy can help take your mind off the breakup. Consider picking up a new hobby, going out with friends, or volunteering.

• Seek support: Talking to friends or a therapist can be helpful in processing your emotions and gaining perspective on the breakup.

• Set boundaries: If you find yourself constantly checking your ex's social media or looking at old photos, it's important to set boundaries for yourself. Consider unfollowing them on social media or limiting your access to reminders of the relationship.

• Practice self-care: Make sure to take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Get enough sleep, exercise, and eat well. Treat yourself to things that make you feel good, such as a massage or a nice meal.

The emotional rollercoaster of a breakup takes us through stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance, as we heal and move forward.

1. Denial: Allow yourself to acknowledge and process the reality of the loss. This may involve seeking support from others and talking about your feelings.

2. Anger: Recognise your anger, take a break from it, and let it out in a healthy way by talking to a friend or therapist, writing it down in a journal, practising relaxation techniques, and figuring out your triggers and coping mechanisms.

3. Bargaining: Recognize that you can't control everything and find ways to accept the reality of the loss. This may involve finding ways to connect with others who have gone through similar experiences or seeking support from a therapist.

4. Depression: To deal with depression after a breakup, seek support, practice self-care, stay active, maintain a routine, and challenge negative thoughts.

5. Acceptance: It's important to find a way to integrate the loss into your life, find meaning in the experience, and create a new sense of normalcy while allowing yourself to continue to heal and grow.

Your feelings at the moment won't stay forever. 

It's normal to feel how you feel but keep in mind to treat yourself well.

Do:

• talk to friends and family about how you're feeling

• allow yourself to grieve and process the breakup

• pick up a hobby such as yoga and meditation

• consider going to therapy if you're struggling to cope

Don't:

• blame yourself or your ex-partner for the breakup

• rush into a new relationship as a way to cope

• engage in disrespectful or hurtful behavior towards your partner

• seek them out on social media

• listen to heartbreak songs on repeat

Take some BOLD actions to move on from your breakup: