Quiz Time!

When in a relationship, which are you more likely to do?

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(a) Ask for reassurance...a lot.

(b) Hold yourself accountable for your actions.

(a) Keep your feelings to yourself to protect the relationship.

(b) Have honest conversations with your partner, even when they're uncomfortable.

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If you answered (a) for these two questions, you may have an Anxious Attachment Style.

The Anxious Attachment Style

Anxious Attachment is a form of Insecure Attachment style, which comes from unstable parenting during our early childhood.

Supportive environments, where the child’s emotional needs are fulfilled by the caregivers, lead to the development of a Secure Attachment.

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On the flip side, when these needs aren't met consistently, we may have intense feelings of:

  • insecurity,

  • doubt, and

  • anxiety

This can lead to an Anxious Attachment Style.

So, how can we recognize an Anxious Attachment Style?

Low Self Esteem

People with an Anxious Attachment Style tend to:

  • Feel insecure and anxious about their own worth in a relationship. 

  • Seek constant attention, reassurance, and appreciation from their loved ones. 

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Strong Fear Of Rejection Or Abandonment

They are usually uneasy and vigilant about their relationship. Folks with anxious attachment tend to:

  • Overthink the meaning of a partner's words or actions,

  • Focus on possible relationship signs of rejection and abandonment,

  • Nurture negative and distorted thinking patterns.

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Thomas messaged his friend asking her out to a last-minute dinner. He noticed that she had read the message but hadn't replied. Which of these behaviors characterizes an Anxious Attachment Style?

Emotional Instability

They are usually:

  • Overly sensitive to a partner's behaviour and attitude.

  • Impulsive, displaying unpredictable reactions to perceived threatening situations.

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An Anxious Attachment Style leads to the need for constant contact or at least a sense of control over the loved one.

They tend to:

  • Crave intimacy and closeness in their relationships.

  • Be overly demanding and dependent on a partner.

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Take Action

Friendship, familial, and romantic relationships are all essential to our well-being, so don't let them become a cause of anxiety and stress.

If you're in a relationship with someone who has an Anxious Attachment Style, try to:

And, if you think that you have an Anxious Attachment Style, try to:

  • Be aware of how you interact in relationships.

  • Communicate your needs and feelings in a clear way.

  • Practice mindfulness exercises to help you manage unpleasant emotions.

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