What is "social proof" (aka "herd behavior")? How do I overcome it when making life decisions?

Ever bought a trendy outfit, only to never wear it?

It’s easy to go along with the crowd — whether it’s a fashion trend, career choice, or even a relationship decision. But just because something’s popular doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

Social proof— doing what others do (sometimes called "herd behavior") — can lead you down a path that doesn’t match your true goals. Let's look at how to make choices that actually reflect what you want.

Social proof happens when people make decisions based on what others are doing, especially when they’re unsure.

Example: You see a long line at a restaurant and assume the food must be good, so you decide to eat there too.

Photo by Roman Arkhipov on Unsplash

How Good Is Social Proof?

Social proof can actually help you make better decisions. Here’s how:

• Find new options: If lots of people recommend something (like a job or city), it’s worth checking out, as you might not think of it on your own.

• Feel like you belong: Following the crowd can help you fit in and not feel left out.

• Save time: You can skip the research. If everyone’s talking about something (like a new app), it’s probably worth trying.

While it can be helpful, social proof isn’t always a good thing. Here’s why you should be careful with herd behavior:

• Right for others, not for you: Popular choices don’t always match your goals, values or circumstances.  

  Example: Your friend quits their job to travel, and everyone praises it. They tell you to do the same, but you have student loans and a family. What works for them isn’t right for you.

• Falling for misinformation. Social proof can make you believe false info just because it’s popular.

  Example: An influencer says skipping college is the key to success without mentioning the downsides, and thousands follow. You drop out, only to struggle without a solid plan.

• Creates pressure: Trying to keep up with others can add stress to your life.

  Example: If all your friends are in relationships, you might rush into one just to fit in, only to realize you weren’t ready.

Want to avoid social proof, stay true to yourself, and not just follow the crowd? Here’s how:

• Self-reflect: Be clear on what matters to you and your situation. Everyone is different.

• Question social pressure: Ask yourself if you're choosing because of others or what you truly want.

• Seek different views: Talk to people who think differently. They might suggest ideas you haven’t thought of.

• Think long-term: Focus on your future. Remember, it’s a life decision.

• Evaluate risks: Consider the pros and cons, not just what’s easy, popular, and quick.

Emma is considering quitting her job to travel, as many of her friends and influencers on social media are doing it. What should Emma do first?

A. Quit her job immediately — if it worked for others, it will work for her.

B. Ignore social media and do nothing. It’s better to stay where she is.

C. Think about her own goals, values, and responsibilities before making the decision.

D. Give it time. Big decisions tend to work themselves out naturally if you just wait a while.

Tom is thinking about quitting his job to start freelancing. He sees lots of people on social media talking about how great freelancing is and how it gives them more freedom. What should Tom do before he makes a decision? Select all that apply:

A. Quit his job and start freelancing immediately because it’s popular and everyone online says it’s awesome.

B. Stay at his current job but try freelancing part-time to see if it’s right for him.

C. Think about whether freelancing fits his skills, money goals, and lifestyle before making any decisions.

D. Follow his friends’ advice and jump into freelancing because they’ve had success with it.

Tired of just going with the flow? Here’s how to take control of your decisions and avoid the negative influence of social proof.