English
​
Answer:

I support you! Thanks for telling me. ,

Do you need any extra support?

Sources:

1 https://www.familyequality.org/2018/06/01/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-your-child-comes-out-to-you/

2 https://www.familyequality.org/2018/06/01/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-your-child-comes-out-to-you/

3 https://www.mykidisgay.com/blog/ten-things-not-to-say-when-your-kid-comes-out

4 https://www.familyequality.org/2018/06/01/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-your-child-comes-out-to-you/

5 https://www.familyequality.org/2018/06/01/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-your-child-comes-out-to-you/

Commit to being an ally and get support for yourself

The words "The more you know" with ivy growing around them.

Take the time to learn and understand LGBTQ+ terminology. Terms are always expanding and changing.

Learn about the history of LGBTQ+ leaders and the movement for LGBTQ+ equality.

It’s normal to have questions and maybe even concerns about a child who has come out to you. Find support for yourself so you can better support them. Websites like My Kid is Gay or organizations like PFLAG or The Trevor Project have great resources for friends and family of children who identify as LGBTQ+.

Practice

a young man talking to an older man in a restaurant booth Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

Imagine a child you care about comes to talk to you. Maybe you already have an idea of what this conversation will be about or maybe it comes as a surprise.

Child: Hey...can I talk to you about something?

You: Of course! What is it?

Child: I've been wanting to talk to you about this for a while...I'm gay.

Quiz

How should you respond to the conversation above? Select all that apply.

Answer:

Do you have questions I can help with? ,

I care a lot about you and support you!

Take Action

You never want to pressure anyone to come out, but in the meantime, you can educate yourself!

LGBTQ+ Pride balloons Photo by Toni Reed on Unsplash

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There has been a lot of progress with LGBTQ+ equality and acceptance in recent years, but coming out as LGBTQ+ can be a very scary time for a young person.

An LGBTQ+ flag and trans flag flying in front of a blue sky. Photo by Cecilie Johnsen on Unsplash

There are many instances when a child might come out to you. It could be your own child, a younger sibling, a student, or a camper that is under your care.

Use the following tips so you know what to say and what to avoid saying to best support a child who comes out to you. 

What to say

When a child comes out to you, reinforce that you care about them and thank them for trusting you.

 

Rocks with the word love painted on one and a rainbow on another. Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Ask them what kind of support they need.

If they lack support at home or school, they may need extra care. They may just need a supportive person to talk to. If they need more support, you can point them towards resources geared toward youth such as The Trevor Project’s resource library.

Did you know?

LGBTQ+ children are more than 4 times as likely to attempt suicide than their peers. It’s even more common when they don’t have a safe and affirming place to be themselves.

It’s important that children know that they can come to you for support in the future. “Having at least one accepting adult can reduce the risk of a suicide attempt among LGBTQ young people by 40%.”

What not to say

Flaticon Icon

Don’t ignore it.

If you weren’t expecting this conversation, your instinct may be to change the subject. By not acknowledging it, you're letting them know that you may not be a safe and supportive person to go to in the future. 

Monica from FRIENDS saying “I know!”

Don’t say that you already knew.

Don’t diminish it by saying that you knew. This also reinforces harmful stereotypes about gender and sexual orientation and doesn’t acknowledge the growing that we do as we go through life.

Don’t say that it’s a phase.

This invalidates an important part of their identity and signals that you may not be a safe and supportive person to go to in the future.

Someone walking down the corridor saying "Shame. Shame. Shame. "

Don’t use religion to shame.

Children who grow up in religious families have most likely already thought of this. There are plenty of religions and religious leaders that preach love to all people, including those who identify as LGBTQ+.

Quiz

A child says that they have something to talk to you about and tells you that they're bisexual. How should you respond? Select all that apply.

Commit to being an ally and get support for yourself

The words "The more you know" with ivy growing around them.

Take the time to learn and understand LGBTQ+ terminology. Terms are always expanding and changing.

Learn about the history of LGBTQ+ leaders and the movement for LGBTQ+ equality.

It’s normal to have questions and maybe even concerns about a child who has come out to you. Find support for yourself so you can better support them. Websites like My Kid is Gay or organizations like PFLAG or The Trevor Project have great resources for friends and family of children who identify as LGBTQ+.

Subscribe for more quick bites of learning delivered to your inbox.

Unsubscribe anytime. No spam. 🙂

Practice

a young man talking to an older man in a restaurant booth Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

Imagine a child you care about comes to talk to you. Maybe you already have an idea of what this conversation will be about or maybe it comes as a surprise.

Child: Hey...can I talk to you about something?

You: Of course! What is it?

Child: I've been wanting to talk to you about this for a while...I'm gay.

Quiz

How should you respond to the conversation above? Select all that apply.

Take Action

You never want to pressure anyone to come out, but in the meantime, you can educate yourself!

LGBTQ+ Pride balloons Photo by Toni Reed on Unsplash

License:

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This Byte helped me better understand the topic.

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Sources:

1 https://www.familyequality.org/2018/06/01/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-your-child-comes-out-to-you/

2 https://www.familyequality.org/2018/06/01/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-your-child-comes-out-to-you/

3 https://www.mykidisgay.com/blog/ten-things-not-to-say-when-your-kid-comes-out

4 https://www.familyequality.org/2018/06/01/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-your-child-comes-out-to-you/

5 https://www.familyequality.org/2018/06/01/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-your-child-comes-out-to-you/

Commit to being an ally and get support for yourself

The words "The more you know" with ivy growing around them.

Take the time to learn and understand LGBTQ+ terminology. Terms are always expanding and changing.

Learn about the history of LGBTQ+ leaders and the movement for LGBTQ+ equality.

It’s normal to have questions and maybe even concerns about a child who has come out to you. Find support for yourself so you can better support them. Websites like My Kid is Gay or organizations like PFLAG or The Trevor Project have great resources for friends and family of children who identify as LGBTQ+.

Practice

a young man talking to an older man in a restaurant booth Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

Imagine a child you care about comes to talk to you. Maybe you already have an idea of what this conversation will be about or maybe it comes as a surprise.

Child: Hey...can I talk to you about something?

You: Of course! What is it?

Child: I've been wanting to talk to you about this for a while...I'm gay.

Quiz

How should you respond to the conversation above? Select all that apply.

Answer:

Do you have questions I can help with? ,

I care a lot about you and support you!

Take Action

You never want to pressure anyone to come out, but in the meantime, you can educate yourself!

LGBTQ+ Pride balloons Photo by Toni Reed on Unsplash

Rumie logo

This logo isn't an ad or affiliate link. It's an organization that shares in our mission, and empowered the authors to share their insights in Byte form.
Rumie vets Bytes for compliance with our Standards. The organization is responsible for the completeness and reliability of the content.
Learn more about how Rumie works with partners.

License:

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