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It's hard to look at yourself in the mirror and consider whether you lack social skills.

Small bulldog walking by mirror;  sees self and is startled.

Good social skills will help you succeed at work and in personal relationships, so it's important to reflect and work on them!

1. Communication

Good communication helps you get your message across clearly and avoid misunderstandings.

Woman saying 'Communication is Necessary.'

Everyone communicates both verbally and non-verbally. Non-verbal communication comes through in your body language.

Verbal 💬

  • Be polite

  • Speak calmly and not too loudly

  • Take turns speaking

  • Don't talk about yourself too much

  • Don't interrupt

Non-Verbal (body language) 👀

  • Establish eye contact

  • Face towards the other person

  • If seated, lean towards the speaker

  • Nod your head to indicate interest

  • Avoid crossing arms and pointing

Let's help Jenny...

Flaticon Icon

Jenny and her co-worker Emma share an office space and they've been getting on each other's nerves. Their supervisor asked them to work out their differences. Jenny wants to communicate clearly with Emma during their discussion.

Quiz

What communication skills should Jenny use in the meeting?

Did you know?

It's also important to recognize the non-verbal cues that people send to you. For example, if a person glances at their watch or phone, starts packing up, or turns away from you, they probably want to wrap things up and show that it's time to end the conversation!

2. Listening Skills

People become frustrated when they feel as if they're not being heard.

Listen Season 6 GIF by Friends

Practice ACTIVE LISTENING:

Some main points about listening:

  • Stay present and focus

  • Indicate attention using non-verbal techniques shown above

  • Reflect back to the person what they said

Did you know?

EMPATHY occurs when you understand a person from their frame of reference rather than your own. Listening closely to another person helps you to be more empathic.

3. Grooming Habits

It has to be said: You can really turn people off if you don't pay attention to personal grooming!

You don't need to look like this:

Josh Dallas smiling in nice clothesJosh Dallas

Ariana Grande dressed in nice clothes while flipping her hairAriana Grande

But this isn't a good look....

Hungry Henry Danger GIF by Nickelodeon

Put some effort into being neat, clean, and well-groomed if you want to make a good impression.

4. Flexibility

Cast members of Saturday Night Live doing yoga in the park

No, not that kind of flexibility...the kind where you are willing to change plans and pivot if things don't go your way.

For example:

Flaticon IconClara spent hours preparing for a big client meeting. After her presentation, the client tells her they changed their mind and want her to rework the project details.

Clara is discouraged, but listens to their ideas and begins working on a new approach the following week. They really like her next draft.

Flaticon IconJuan is excited for his second date with Jane, and made reservations at his favorite steak place. On the way there, Jane tells him that she's a vegetarian.

Juan is disappointed, but they end up going to another restaurant where they can each get a meal they enjoy. It ends up being a great night.

Bri's Conference

Flaticon IconBri ordered swag for a conference she's organizing, but a week ahead of time, the vendor says they shipped the order to the wrong location and it won't arrive on time.

Quiz

What should Bri do? Select all that apply:

Did you know?

The scenario "Bri's Conference" actually happened to the writer of this Byte!

Take Action

Social skills help you succeed both personally and professionally. If you think you need to improve in any of the areas covered in this Byte:

 A woman smiling and waving her hands in the air, with the text 'Social skills!'

License:

This Byte has been authored by

MD

Mary Ellen D'Intino

Learning Designer | Licensed Social Worker

M.Ed., LSW

English

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