Relationship Help: Do I Have A Secure Attachment Style?

Do you remember Marshall and Lily from How I Met Your Mother?

They had true love that everyone hopes to find one day.

Marshall and Lily pose before a wedding. Marshall says, 'We're adorable.'

It's because they had a

SECURE ATTACHMENT style!

Their relationship had good times and bad times. But through it all, they trusted each other, openly showed affection, offered support, and gave each other space.

Did you know?

In a classic 1987 relationship study, 56% of respondents identified themselves as secure, while 25% identified as avoidant, and 19 percent as ambivalent/anxious.

Secure Attachment Style

A woman whispers into a man's ear, 'Our relationship is secure.' He gets goosebumps on his skin.

Attachment styles are patterns of how we think, feel, and act in close relationships.

Secure attachment style starts when, early in life, a child feels that their parent is a secure base, so that even though they’re happy to be with Mom or Dad, they also feel confident enough to explore the world on their own.

So what does a secure attachment style look like?

You're Comfortable Opening Up

You probably have no trouble telling people what's going on in your life or asking for support when you need it.

Two contestants on a dating show in a hot tub. One says to the other, 'I literally feel so comfortable talking to you.'

Quiz

Mia's partner Cam is under a lot of stress these days due to work pressure. Having a secure attachment style, how will Cam deal with it?

Not discussing anything with Mia

Pushing Mia away and retreat

Asking for Mia's help

Acting like the world is ending

You Set And Respect Boundaries

When you need space or are upset, you won't hesitate to speak up. And in return, you’ll understand that when others state their own boundaries, it’s your job to step back.

Oprah says, 'Boundaries! Boundaries! Everyone gets a boundary!'

You Don't Succumb To Jealousy

When your partner goes out with friends or on a trip abroad, you feel safe knowing that your partner will be faithful. You're trusting until given reason not to be.

Danny from Grease tells Sandy, 'Jealous? Oh, come on Sandy, don't make me laugh. Ha! Ha! Ha!'

Did you know?

It's normal to feel jealous sometimes, but secure partners stay rooted in the reality of the relationship.

You Make Your Partner Feel Safe And At Home

You don't criticize or lead your partner. They can open up to you and be their genuine selves.

After a long day of work, you're like a breath of fresh air, someone your partner can count on to be their rock.

A woman rests her head on her partner's lap.

Quiz

Which of these is a sign of secure attachment style in a partner?

Finds it hard to be on their own

Requires constant reinforcement of love

Relies too often on others

Capable of displaying emotions

Take Action

Secure attachment style can provide you with more open, honest, and satisfying relationships.

Steph and Ayesha Curry dance together in their kitchen.

If you want to develop a secure attachment style in your relationships, start today by restructuring your thoughts:

Evaluate your past relationships.

Acknowledge your attachment style.

Aim for progress, not perfection.

Make yourself a priority.

Relationship Help: Do I Have A Secure Attachment Style?

Do you remember Marshall and Lily from How I Met Your Mother?

It's because they had a

SECURE ATTACHMENT style!

Did you know?

Secure Attachment Style

You're Comfortable Opening Up

Quiz

You Set And Respect Boundaries

You Don't Succumb To Jealousy

Did you know?

You Make Your Partner Feel Safe And At Home

Quiz

Take Action

If you want to develop a secure attachment style in your relationships, start today by restructuring your thoughts:

This Byte has been authored by

Sukriti Babbar