Practice unconditional love with your parents in 3 steps 💕

Have you ever felt like your parents don't understand?

Or maybe you’ve thought: “If they really understood me, our relationship wouldn’t feel this hard.”

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Misunderstandings and disagreements happen in many relationships, especially when you care a lot about something the other person doesn’t fully see yet.

For me, one of the hardest moments was when my parents and I kept bumping heads about my interest in being a hairstylist. It wasn’t until I finally shared why it mattered to me that we were able to better understand each other.

That situation taught me something greater: unconditional love isn’t about always agreeing. It’s about choosing understanding, even when it’s not comfortable.

And the good news is…I’m sharing the simple ways I practiced unconditional love, so you can use them too.

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Lead with unconditional love to gain understanding.

For me, the hardest part is stopping myself from rehearsing old conversations in my head.

During arguments with my parents, I caught myself replaying what was said in the past, not what was happening in the moment.

There were times when I held onto things my family said, and the feeling stayed long after the moment passed. Because I rehearsed it so many times, I found myself getting emotional every time a similar conversation came up.

Give it a try....

One day, I tried something different. Instead of thinking about that moment again, I took a deep breath and reminded myself:

“They’re my family, and we forgive, even when we don’t always get it right.”

Why does this matter?

Letting go isn’t about pretending nothing happened. It’s about having time for yourself to respond with clarity instead of old feelings. When you choose to be understanding over replaying the hurt, you create room for healing and the strength to move forward.

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Show understanding so you can talk about solutions, not just the problem.

Arguments usually start when we jump to defend ourselves before hearing what the other person has to say. Leading with you understand helps everyone feel heard.

This was me when I wanted to hang out with my friends, and my parents said no.

After we talked about it, I shared that I heard their concern, and I explained why spending time with my friends mattered to me.

I said to my parents, "I understand that you want to protect me, but at the same time, I feel frustrated because I want to spend time with my friends. I respect your concerns, but can we find a way to meet halfway?" 

Talk it out...

Has a parent ever said no to something that you care about? Did you feel frustrated and unheard?

Instead of arguing or stomping out of the room, acknowledge their concern first.

Try saying:

• "I know that you're worried about my safety."

• "I hear what you're saying and understand your concern."

• "I respect your position. Can we work together on this?"

This shows understanding without blaming.

Why does this matter?

When we feel misunderstood, conversations can turn into arguments. Acknowledging a parent’s concern first lowers defensiveness and makes problem-solving more likely.

Quick check:

Before you explained how you felt, did you acknowledge your parents’ concern?

☐ Yes ☐ Not yet

Unconditional love shows up in following through.

Unconditional love isn’t just what we say in emotional moments — it’s what we do after the conversation ends.

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

After considering my parents' point of view, we made a promise to discuss it whenever someone feels unheard or misunderstood.

What’s one small action you could agree on today?

These small acts of kindness can work in your favor, too.

Give it a try....

After talking it through, you and your parent agree on one small action, like:

• Checking in again weekly

• Trying a compromise

• Revisiting the topic later

"Even though you might want to fix everything at once, the key is staying connected.

Brian’s parents asked for a family meeting because he had been coming home late after school. They were worried he wasn’t taking care of his homework or getting enough rest.

When Brian explained that he’d been staying after school to talk with friends, since they barely get time together during the day, his parents finally understood why he was late. And Brian understood their concern a little more, too.

Even though they still didn’t fully agree, Brian wanted to show unconditional love. So before ending the conversation, he asked:

"What’s one small thing we can try this week to help us all feel better about this?"

Which options could Brian suggest that he commit to?

A. Have a homework check-in every week to show his progress

B. Never hang out with friends after school

C. Pick only one day to hang out with friends after school

D. Do homework as soon as he gets home

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

Take steps to stay connected during a disagreement:

1. Pause before reacting.

• Stop talking for 5 seconds.

• Take one slow breath in and out.

• Lower your voice before responding.

2. Acknowledge their concern first.

Name what your parent is worried about before sharing how you feel.

• “I hear that you’re worried about my safety.”

• “I understand that you’re concerned about my upcoming exams."

3. Agree on one small next step.

• Ask your parent to choose one next step with you, like setting a time to check in again, trying a small compromise, or revisiting the topic later.

• Confirm it out loud before ending the conversation.

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