Your partner's once soothing humming has now become the incessant sound of nails on a chalkboard.
How you can tell your partner you need space in a healthy way?
Keep In Mind
Needing space isn't necessarily a signal that there's any problem with the relationship!
Everyone needs some "me time" from time to time.
But telling someone you want to spend less time with them can make them feel hurt.
It's not your fault for needing space. Likewise, if your partners has feelings when you ask for space, that isn't their fault either.
Take Some Time To Think About It
Examine your feelings.
Try to put what you've been feeling into words.
Consider your needs, but also remember that you want to minimize the hurt your partner might feel.
Take ownership of how you feel
Think about how to say what you feel in a respectful way
Avoid or minimize how you really feel
Lash out at your partner or yourself
Choose The Right Time
Bring it up...
when you have time to talk
when you're both relaxed and open
Don't bring it up...
right before a stressful event
right before bed or going out
Use "I" Language Instead Of "You" Language
Tell your partner how you've been feeling.
Be direct and clear.
Avoid accusing them or blaming them for how you feel.
I've been feeling tense and impatient lately and realized I haven't been spending much time on my own to recenter. I love spending time with you, and in order for me to be my best self with you, I'm going to start blocking off one day a week for "me time."
Maria and her partner both work from home. She wants to tell him that she needs space because his presence can sometimes be distracting or overwhelming. What are the best ways for her to explain this to him?
"I feel like I need more me time."
"You always distract me."
"You're driving me crazy."
"I need some space to concentrate."
Come Up With A Solution
Talk it through with your partner and see how they feel.
Come up with a practical way for you to get more space in the relationship.
For example, you could:
Make a certain day each week a "me day"
Agree to set times as "alone hours"
Take breaks from each other to recharge
The next time you need to tell your partner you need space:
Join Our Community
Connect with other motivated learners that are switching their social media time to Rumie.
This Byte has been authored by
Helping to make learning easy, accessible, and fun