4 thoughtful ways to support a friend who has a difficult home life 💗

You meet up with your friend for lunch.

Usually they’re funny and talkative, but today they’re quiet. When you ask what’s wrong, they shrug and say, “Nothing. Just tired.”

Later that night, you get a text from them:

"I hate being at home. I wish I could just stay at school forever."

You’re not sure what to say. You want to help, but you’re worried about saying the wrong thing.

Photo by Karla Rivera on Unsplash

What would you do in this situation?

Supporting a friend who has a difficult home life can feel confusing or overwhelming, but even small actions can make a big difference.

Sometimes the best support is simply being someone who listens.

Friends with a difficult home life may not feel safe sharing at home, so having someone who listens can mean a lot.

To listen actively:

• Let them talk at their own pace.

• Avoid interrupting or jumping to solutions and resist the urge to fix or give advice, unless they ask for it.

• Use supportive responses like: "I’m glad you told me," and "You're not alone."

• Help them feel heard. Validate their feelings by saying "Yeah, that sounds really hard," or "That sounds great."

• Ask them questions like "How are you doing?" or "Do you want to talk about it?"

Avoid saying things like:

• "It can’t be that bad."

• "Just ignore it."

• "Other people have it worse."

Active listening shows your friend that their feelings matter.

Everyone deals with challenges in their own way. Some people may want to talk about what they're going through, while others may prefer to keep things to themselves.

— High Country Behavioral Health

Respect your friend's boundaries and let them know that you're there for them, even if they might not feel ready to talk about it.

You don’t need to fix their situation to help. Small actions can make their daily life feel safer and more positive.

Examples of small ways you can show your support:

• Check in with a simple message: "How are you feeling today? Just wanted to check in. Thinking of you.")

• Invite them to spend time together outside of the home (activities, meals).

• Celebrate small wins: "You did really well on ___! I'm so proud of you!"

• Let them know you’re there for them.

Explore the following video of what Charlie Houpert, from Dropping in Podcast, believes is the key to helping a friend that might be having a difficult home life.

When someone has a difficult home life, they might feel stressed, overwhelmed, or stuck with their emotions. Healthy coping strategies can help them manage those feelings in safer and more positive ways. As a friend, you can gently encourage activities that help them release stress.

Think about what your friend enjoys doing! Sometimes simple activities can help someone regulate those emotions and take their mind off things.

Some ideas might include:

• Drawing, journaling, or painting

• Meditation, deep breathing, or yoga

• Active movement or exercise (sports, going for a walk together)

• Reading or listening to music

• Watching a favorite show

• Talking to other trusted friends and family

Photo by sq lim on Unsplash

Self-care may be as important for you as it is for your friend during a difficult time.

You may want to be there for them 24/7, but you can’t be a good support system if you're feeling worn down or burned out. As you care for your friend, remember to care for yourself too!

Some examples of self-care might include:

• Doing your favorite sport or activity

• Reading a good book

• Watching a favorite show or movie

Learn more about how to support a friend or loved one during a difficult time at home: