What is "orbiting" in dating? How can it affect you?

You and someone you were seeing stopped talking weeks ago. You thought things had ended.

But they still watch your Instagram stories and even like your posts.

You don't know what to make of it. This behavior in modern dating is called orbiting — they're no longer around but never seem to disappear either.

So, what does orbiting really look like, and how can it affect your dating experiences?

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Orbiting is when someone you were seeing is no longer in contact with you — no calls, no texts, no in-person meetups — but they continue to follow your activity on social media.

Instead of reaching out directly, they rely on passive engagement with your social media. It can happen after a few dates, a situationship, or even after a romantic relationship ends.

What does orbiting look like?

Orbiting can be confusing to spot, but you might notice these signs:

• They regularly view your stories on Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat.

• They like your posts or stories.

• They react to your posts with emojis.

• They linger in your online space but never start a conversation.

Which situation most looks like orbiting?

A. Meera's former date texts her, saying they'd like to talk.

B. Sam's former partner stops contacting him and viewing his social media.

C. Jake's former date likes his posts and watches his stories but never communicates directly.

D. Annie and her former partner agree to stop contacting each other.

You can't know why someone is orbiting based only on their online behavior because people may do it for different reasons.

They're curious. They simply want to know what's happening in your life after things ended. It's natural to be curious about someone you once dated or were close to and want to know what they're up to.

They may still have feelings for you. Sometimes, they may not have fully moved on after things ended. This can make it harder for them to let go.

They may fear losing the connection. They may not be ready to lose all contact with you. Keeping up with your social media activity can help them feel that the connection isn't completely gone.

It's become a habit. They may have gotten used to checking your social media while you were together and continue doing it without thinking much about it.

You might think a few likes or story views aren't a big deal. But when orbiting continues over time, it can affect you in more ways than one.

It can leave you confused.

• Orbiting can send mixed signals, making it difficult to understand what the other person really wants.

• You may be left with confusing thoughts—whether they're still interested, want to reconnect, or simply want to keep up with your life.

• This uncertainty can leave you feeling frustrated, disappointed, or emotionally drained.

It can make setting boundaries harder.

• When someone you dated keeps showing up on your social media, you may unintentionally end up posting things with them in mind.

• You may feel unsure about muting or unfollowing them because you don't want to seem rude or cut off the connection altogether.

It can lead to overthinking.

• You may start reading too much into every like, reaction, or story view.

• You might keep thinking about why they're still watching your updates, or whether you should respond.

• This can leave you spending more time and effort than you'd like, thinking about what they're doing online.

It can make moving on more difficult.

• Seeing reminders of someone you dated can keep them on your mind, even after you've decided to move forward.

• You may find yourself thinking about the relationship again or checking their profile on social media.

Marie and Hank stopped dating a month ago. They're still friends on social media, and Marie watches Hank's stories and likes his posts. But when Hank messages her, she doesn't reply.

Hank feels happy when she engages with his posts, but disappointed when she doesn't. He often wonders what her actions mean.

How might Marie's orbiting affect Hank?

A. He may see her likes and views as a friendly way of staying in touch.

B. His mood may start to depend on her online activity, leaving him to overthink and feel stuck.

C. He may end up anxiously checking his phone, story views, and likes more often.

Orbiting can leave you feeling overwhelmed because you're not sure about the other person's intentions. But paying attention to its signs and how it may affect you can help you make sense of what you're experiencing.