This logo isn't an ad or affiliate link. It's an organization that shares in our mission, and empowered the authors to share their insights in Byte form.
Rumie vets Bytes for compliance with our
Standards.
The organization is responsible for the completeness and reliability of the content.
Learn more
about how Rumie works with partners.
Do you ever tell yourself...
"Either you're a winner or you're a loser."
"If I don't pass the test, I'm stupid."
Only two choices?
These are all examples of either/or thinking — a logical fallacy that creates a false dilemma. It presents only two choices, often two extremes.
Yet there are almost always more options.
The Perils Of Either/Or Thinking
Sometimes either/or thinking is caused by old, unexamined ways of thinking, or bad habits. It can trap you into:
Oblivious self-interest: "Either she gets her way or I do."
Having no room for alternatives: "Either you’re with me or you’re against me."
Negative self-talk: "If I don't lose 10 pounds, no one will like me."
Quiz
Which characteristic can contribute to either/or thinking?
Collaboration, connection, and cooperation all suggest an openness to options and choice. Competition can lead to an us/them, all/nothing mindset.
Both/And or What If? Thinking
Change either/or to both/and to expand the possibilities!
Both/and thinking opens your mind to additional questions and options like "what if":
"What if you just forgot to study for the test?" instead of, "I didn't pass so I'm stupid."
"What if you don't get married because you're not ready to settle down?" instead of, "I'll be lonely and single forever."
Quiz
Which of the following is NOT an example of either/or thinking?
"She is both right and partly wrong" shows that multiple ideas can exist together. The other statements present only two choices.
Did you know?
Want to discuss this Byte or other content from Rumie? Join us in the Rumie community on Discord to connect directly with other learners using text and voice chat!
Take Action
Next time you think you only have two choices, ask yourself:
This Byte has been authored by
Janet Hoffman
Learner and Designer