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BAD DATES!! We've all had them.
You know the ones!
The dates with those who:
rattled on about their ex.
dove right into marriage and kids.
responded with one word answers.
Maybe you've even been that person yourself from time to time.
But first dates don't have to be that way!
Really! Scientists have done the hard work for us by studying first dates. Put these 5 questions in your back pocket (or on your phone) and you can:
learn more about your date's personality and history.
quickly discover if you're compatible.
have more enjoyable conversations.
Q1: What does your average day look like?
This is a great alternative to the infamous "What do you do?" As they describe their typical day, you'll likely discover:
if they're an early morning or late night person.
what they do for a living.
what they do with their spare time.
Q2: What passion projects are you working on?
This is a great alternative to "Do you have any hobbies?" You'll probably still learn about their hobbies while opening the door to:
a goal they're working on.
more details about their job.
an interest, skill, or talent they are developing.
Quiz
On their first date, LaShawn asks Armani, "What passion projects are you working on?" Which of the following is LaShawn likely to learn about Armani? Select all that apply
Most people find discussing their salary too personal for a first date. Goals, details about their job, and a new skill they are developing are likely to be revealed when asking about their passion projects.
Q3: What are your favorite kinds of vacations?
This is a great alternative to "Have you traveled anywhere lately?" If the answer is "no", the conversation stalls. Instead, discover if they:
get out of town or staycation to work on home projects.
prefer a lot of physical activity or relaxing by a pool.
take long weekend trips every so often or a big trip once a year.
Did you know?
Q4: What was a high and a low for you this week?
This is a great alternative to "How was your day?" Remember rolling your eyes when your parents asked you that and answering "fine"? Push past the one-word response and discover:
a challenge they're facing and how they're handling it.
how they define success.
how they deal with positive and negative emotions and circumstances.
Did you know?
Q5: What was the kid version of you like?
This a great alternative to "Are you close with your family?" which can be too personal for some people and may involve issues they're not ready or willing to discuss with someone they just met. Focus on them as an individual and discover:
if they preferred indoor or outdoor play.
what their academic interests and extra-curricular activities were.
how they're the same and how they've changed over time.
Quiz
Monet and Zuri are on their first date. To spark conversation, what is another way that Monet can ask Zuri, "What were you like as a kid?" Select all that apply.
These questions focus on them as an individual and are more likely to prompt a conversation. Asking about their siblings focuses on their family.
Take Action
Be ready for a great next first date!
This Byte has been authored by
Dawn Wiley
Instructional Designer/Youth Development Manager
MA, BBA