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It's your first semester at college, and you're living off campus. You were able to find an apartment near campus, as well as a roommate. You know it's going to be a great semester!
Four weeks later...
All is great with your classes. You're making friends and joining clubs. However, your roommate:
Leaves dirty dishes and food all over the kitchen
Doesn't clean up after themselves
Hasn't contributed to rent
Invites friends over unannounced and at odd hours of the day and night
Oh, no! It looks like you have a nightmare roommate!
What do I do now?!
It's already stressful enough to deal with school, a part-time job, clubs, and other responsibilities. So, what should you do if you have a nightmare roommate?
By following the 4 steps below, you can address this challenging situation more confidently!
Step 1. Address problems early and directly
While it may seem awkward and strange to have this conversation, it's better to bring up issues sooner than later. Letting problems get worse will not help you in this situation.
However, as Abigail Johnson Hess from CNBC points out, make sure to "call them in, not call them out".
In other words, don't just blame or criticize the roommate for the problems and issues. Instead, try to start a conversation about the living arrangements and how both of you can create a living environment that works.
Quiz
You need to talk to your roommate about them leaving their dirty laundry on the couch for the past 3 days. What's the best way to "call them in" and start the conversation?
This option is the best one because it's not accusatory and it invites a conversation on the best way to do laundry for both you and your roommate.
Step 2. Make a roommate contract
While it's ideal to do this when you first move in, your conversation from step #1 could be used to start a roommate contract.
Abigail Johnson Hess points out that a roommate contract can help you learn more about:
your living preferences
the rules you want to set and follow
how to split responsibilities.
It doesn't have to be a formal document, but it can be something to revisit if conflicts appear between you and your roommate.
Quiz
What topics should appear in a roommate contract? Select all that apply.
Any topic about sharing resources and space should be in the contract. Consider your living situation to see what other similar topics should be in your contract. However, you shouldn't use the contract to interfere with your roommate's class schedule, as they have the right to go to class as early as they please.
Step 3. Take a break from each other
Sometimes you can still be frustrated with your roommate, even after talking and creating a roommate contract.
If that's the case, then leave your place for a few hours. Go outside for a walk, meet up with friends at a cafe, or check out a new art exhibit in town.
While it may not solve all of your roommate problems, it will allow you to be away from the situation for a while. You can return back home refreshed and ready to address any remaining issues.
Step 4. Get others involved as a last resort.
If nothing works, reach out to others for advice and support.
Photo by National Cancer Institute on UnsplashTalk to a resident assistant on campus to help you navigate on-campus resources such as counseling.
Kopa, a rental site, suggests talking to your landlord to see if they can assist you with talking to and/or evicting your roommate if they're acting against the lease agreement you signed.
Did you know?
Take Action
Let's review the steps that you should follow if you have a nightmare roommate:
This Byte has been authored by
Suzanne Bardasz
Instructional Designer