Have you heard the term "shadow work" floating around on the Internet recently?

Are you wondering what it means? Maybe you're curious how working with your "shadow self" can benefit you.

If you're someone that loves wandering down the path of self-exploration and you're intrigued with "embracing your dark side," shadow work may be just the thing for you!

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If you're not sure where to start, use these 4 steps to kickstart your journey of working with your shadow self.

The famous 20th-century Swiss psychologist Carl Jung developed the concept of the shadow. Think of the shadow self as a magnet for:

• Emotions and desires you repress

• Traits others made you feel bad for having

• Things that you don't like about yourself

It's a collection of all the aspects of yourself that you were taught to believe weren't good and that you don't want the world to see. We learn to hide these things from a young age to avoid experiencing rejection and criticism from others.

Example: If you were a greedy kid who had a tough time sharing, you may have learned to suppress your greediness to be more accepted around other kids.

But while this may have had the positive effect of making you more agreeable around others, it could also have caused you to become very judgmental, hyper-critical, and disgusted towards yourself when you notice the "greedy urge" rearing its head.

Here's the danger: If you teach yourself that wanting things is so bad, then you just might curb your own potential! Does it make sense now why understanding your shadow is so important?

Take a good look at what tends to really bother you. These are usually clues to what you have hidden in your shadow self. As Carl Jung himself said, "Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

Ask yourself these questions:

• When did I experience a strong negative emotion (ex. anger, jealousy, shame) recently and why? What other situations does this remind me of?

• What do I often criticize or judge in others? Why do these things bother me so much?

• What parts of myself do I try to hide and why?

• What are my deepest fears and where did they come from?

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Taking the time to understand your triggers and reactions has some amazing benefits!

By reflecting on the questions above, you can:

• Get more in touch with your shadow self

• Become more self-aware

• Feel more in control when you experience negative emotions

• Develop self-compassion for yourself

• Gain empathy for others when they experience negative reactions

Most of us have an inner voice that likes to keep us company throughout the day. Sometimes it is encouraging and welcoming, coming through with a helpful, "You got this!" Other times it is critical and harsh and serves up things like:

• "You're not good enough."

• "You don't deserve this."

• "You don't have what it takes."

Sound familiar? A lot of times, our self-limiting beliefs have grown out of our shadow self. They're the outgrowth of parts of ourselves we have rejected and are ashamed of.

So what's the goal?

Change your inner critic into your inner coach! To do this, practice swapping these negative, catastrophizing statements with more positive, empowering statements.

Instead of "I always fail," tell yourself, "Sometimes I fail and sometimes I succeed. Failure is necessary for growth and is not my identity."

Because the shadow self is subconscious, it can be very black/white, rigid, and judgmental. It takes time AND practice to pry out these deep-rooted weeds and plant new seeds (hint: those are the positive statements!).

Practicing shadow work ISN'T about getting rid of parts of yourself that you don't like. (Remember: Pushing your rejected parts into the shadow is what causes trouble in the first place!).

It's about embracing all parts of yourself and making an effort to understand those parts—good or bad.

You can begin to exercise more choicewhen it comes to how you emotionally respond.

If you notice that your shadow self is triggered, you can take a moment to:

1. Understand where your reaction is coming from.

2. Validate your initial reaction.

3. Choose a new way to respond.

Let's use this framework in a real-life example: Imagine you proposed an idea to your friend, who then shot it down. You feel dismissed and rejected.

1. Understand that your frustration isn’t just about this moment — it’s triggering a deeper insecurity about being undervalued or ignored.

2. Validate your emotions. Instead of shaming yourself for feeling upset, recognize it's natural to feel hurt when you don't receive credit for your contributions.

3. Choose to calmly ask your friend to consider your idea or to compromise instead of reacting defensively.

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Photo by Khadeeja Yasser on Unsplash

It's okay to feel scared about facing your shadow self. Many people feel guilt or shame during shadow work because they have to dig up parts of themselves they've tried really hard to hide.

But the benefits of feeling more self-aware, in-control, and connected to yourself are so worth it! Check out any of these helpful ideas to continue on your shadow-work journey.