You may have heard of the acronym LGBTQIA+, met someone who identifies as "homosexual" or "asexual", or questioned what your sexual orientation might be.

LGBTQIA+ acronym depicted as cartoon characters.

While there is a wide range of terms used by LGBTQIA+ people to describe their experiences, from omnisexual to lesbian and beyond, they generally fit into four main sexual orientation types.

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Knowing these can help you understand yourself, your friends, family members, and others better, whether you're LGBTQ+ yourself or an ally!

What is sexual orientation?

The term sexual orientation is used to generalize who a person is sexually attracted to. Usually, people will choose a label for their sexual orientation that reflects their own gender identity, what gender(s) they are attracted to, and how many genders.

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Some things to note:

  • Sexual attraction is not the same as action. You don't need to have been in a relationship to have a sexual orientation or use a particular label.

  • Sexual orientation can change over time, for any reason or none at all.

    For instance, someone may first only be attracted to men, and then later find they're attracted to women.

  • Sexual orientation isn't a choice. Someone may choose a particular label for how they feel, but that does not mean they choose who they are attracted to. You can't forcibly change someone's sexual orientation.

Quiz

Damian is considering his sexual orientation. What is the most important question he should ask himself?

1. Homosexuality

Coming from the Greek "homos" meaning "same", someone who is homosexual is sexually attracted only to people of their same gender.

Maddie

Two women chatting wearing hats and sunglasses. Photo by Katie Treadway on Unsplash

Maddie is a cisgender woman. This means she isn't transgender and her doctors and family assigned her the sex of "female" when she was born.

She has a girlfriend named Viola. Maddie has only ever dated women and knew she liked girls from when she was quite young. She has never thought she might be attracted to men. She chooses to identify with the label homosexual and calls herself a "lesbian".

Rico

A man in a baseball cap and t-shirt standing outside. Photo by Irene Strong on Unsplash

Rico is a transgender man. Before he came out as a man, he had been on dates with both men and women, but because he wasn't comfortable presenting as a woman, he wasn't comfortable being in a relationship.

Since coming out as transgender and starting to transition, he has realized he is only attracted to other men. He selects either the label homosexual or gay on dating apps.

2. Heterosexuality

Coming from the Greek "héteros" meaning "different" or "another", someone who is heterosexual is sexually attracted only to people of a different gender.

Anthony

A man and woman in a field. The man carries the woman on his back. Photo by Chermiti Mohamed on Unsplash

Anthony is a transgender man. He is married to his wife, Luciana. They are high-school sweethearts, and they have each only ever dated each other.

He came out as transgender during an apprenticeship and was grateful to have Luciana's support during his transition. When completing demographic surveys he selects "heterosexual".

Drea

A woman wearing all pink. She sits on a walker outside a door and she holds a flashy cane. Photo by Rollz International on Unsplash

Drea is cisgender woman. She dated men during university, but since graduating, she has decided to focus on her career and does not plan to be in a long-term relationship soon.

She attends Pride events with her cousin Willa, who is nonbinary, and she identifies as a heterosexual or straight ally.

3. Multisexuality

Multisexuality represents the diverse range of sexual orientations of people who are attracted to multiple genders.

Homosexuality and heterosexuality reference whether someone is attracted to the same or different gender, but multisexual labels like bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual, etc. reference multiple genders, including or excluding the same or different genders.

Flaticon Icon Some common multisexual labels

  • Bisexual: someone who is sexually attracted to two or more genders

  • Pansexual: someone who is sexually attracted to all genders, and attracted to people regardless of their gender

  • Omnisexual: someone who is sexually attracted to all genders but experiences attraction differently depending on someone's gender

  • Polysexual: someone who is attracted to multiple genders, but not all

Taylor

An Asian woman standing in front of a door. Photo by x ) on Unsplash

Taylor is a transgender woman. She is interested in dating women and nonbinary people across the gender spectrum, but doen't find herself attracted to men.

She recently broke up with Maia, a cisgender woman, and is curious to go on a date with her coworker Cole, who is agender and identifies with not having a gender. On their first date, she told Cole that she is polysexual.

Ashley

A person in makeup, t-shirt and jeans standing in a prairie field. Photo by Grace Weltch on Unsplash

Ashley is nonbinary. They first came out as bisexual when they were in middle school, after realizing they were attracted to both their male and female classmates.

After going on a few dates with both men and women, they noticed that their attraction to someone was more about someone's personality than their gender identity.

A friend encouraged Ashley to look up the label pansexual, which matched how they felt about being attracted to people across the gender spectrum regardless of their gender.

4. Asexuality

Asexuality is a term that refers to people who experience little to no sexual attraction to anyone, regardless of their gender.

Asexuality exists as a spectrum. It includes (among others) people who are:

  • Gray-asexual, who occasionally, but less frequently, experience sexual attraction

  • Demisexual, who experience sexual attraction after forming an emotional connection

Hal

A Black family cooking pizza together. Photo by Jimmy Dean on Unsplash

Hal is nonbinary and uses they/she/he pronouns. They have been married to their partner Addie for ten years and have a child.

Hal realized her own asexuality after reading a book that had an asexual main character, and asked Addie to read the book as well to understand what it's like to not experience sexual attraction.

Hal loves his wife and likes to express his love for Addie through handmade gifts, cooking as a family, and physical affection like kissing and hugging.

Ella

Older woman with phone next to younger woman. Photo by Rollz International on Unsplash

Ella is a cisgender woman in her 60s. She met her first husband, Isaac, at church, and they were friends for five years before they started dating.

A few years ago, Isaac passed away, and Ella's friends would occasionally ask her if and when she planned to start dating again. She wasn't a fan of dating apps and couldn't imagine wanting to date anyone she wasn't really close to first.

Her daughter, Sadie, showed her a video about demisexuality and Ella felt a lot of comfort in knowing she wasn't the only person to experience sexual attraction only after developing an emotional bond.

Scenario: Claudia's sexual orientation

Claudia

A woman with friends hanging out together in a greenhouse. Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Claudia is a cisgender woman. She is currently dating Jordan, who is a cisgender man. They watch a lot of TV shows together, and she always jokes about how much prettier the women contestants in dating reality TV shows are compared with the men.

Claudia's friends asked her if she would ever want to date a woman, and she surprised them by revealing that the only other person she ever was attracted to and dated was a woman on the community basketball team named Olive. She said, "I don't often find myself attracted to anyone, but I wouldn't mind."

Quiz

What might Claudia identify as her sexual orientation? Select all sexual orientation types that apply:

Take Action

Figuring out your sexual orientation can be an important part of self-discovery and self-reflection. Knowing what different sexual orientations types can help you feel empowered to recognize your own feelings of attraction and feel confident in who you are!

In summary, the four sexual orientation types are:

  • Homosexual: sexually attracted to one gender, the same as yours

  • Heterosexual: sexually attracted to one gender, different to yours

  • Multisexual: sexually attracted to more than one gender

  • Asexual: not sexually attracted to any gender

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