Get ready for a bit of a downer...
30 is not the new 20 🥺
Or at least that's what clinical psychologist Meg Jay says in her Ted Talk.
In her words:
Twenty-somethings are like airplanes, just taking off from LAX heading for somewhere west. A slight change in course on takeoff is the difference between landing in Alaska or Fiji.
So how can you make sure you're the one choosing your destination?✈️
Consider Jay's 3 takeaways (based on clinical research) to make the most of your twenties.
Skip The Identity Crisis And Build Identity Capital
The issue
A lot of twenty somethings put off doing something until they figure out the "right thing"
Like Emma, a twenty something, unsure if she wants to pursue art, curation, or another avenue. She works as a server while she figures it out
This inaction leads to wasted opportunity; suddenly you've been out of school for 10 years and haven't taken any relevant steps in the field you're interested in
What you can do instead
Invest in who you might want to be even if you're not 100% sure where you'll land
This identity capital leads to more identity capital, opening up new opportunities
Explore, move across the country, but choose options that build skills and are aligned with your long term interests
Emma would be in a better position if she worked part time at an art gallery, since it's at least closer to her field.
Quiz
Kira is interested in nature but isn't sure of the right career path. What's a good step for her to build identity capital?
The Urban Tribe Is Overrated
The issue
Having a close group of friends might sound great, but the human tendency to gravitate people who are like us can actually be limiting because we aren't exposed to other viewpoints and opportunities
Most new opportunities (like jobs or romantic partners) actually come through "weak connections" aka friends of friends
What you can do instead
Strive to make space for new people in your life (try taking the step to go from 'work friend' to 'real friend')
Put effort into networking - connect with people you share interests with (not just people you happen to have relationships with)
The Time To Pick Your Family Is Now
The issue
A lot of people feel pressure to settle down with a partner or have kids when their peers do
This can lead to people just partnering up with who they happen to be dating at the time (like sitting down in musical chairs) instead of choosing mindfully who to partner with
What you can do instead
Be conscious of who you spend your time with - there are no 'practice relationships'
Spend time discovering your values and choosing how to spend your time (and with who)
Take Action
Meg Jay may have taken a page out of the cheshire cat's book...
But there's a couple other things you can do no matter your age.
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