What's the difference between biromantic vs. bisexual identities?

So, a bisexual and a biromantic walk into a bar...

Hold on! Two labels both using "bi"? What's the difference? Which person is which?

Understanding the difference of biromantic vs bisexual identities will help you not only reflect on your own attraction towards others, but also consider the diverse experiences of these members of the LGBTQ+ community.

When someone uses the prefix "bi" to define who they are attracted to, it represents being attracted to two or more genders. This means someone who uses a label with the prefix "bi" might be attracted to a combination of two or more of people with gender identities like:

• Men (including transgender men)

• Women (including transgender women)

• Nonbinary people

• Anyone across the gender spectrum!

The label "biromantic" is often used by someone who is romantically attracted to two or more genders.

What is romantic attraction?

The suffix "romantic", when used as part of an LGBTQ+ identity label, refers to who someone is romantically attracted to.

It can be difficult to tell when you are romantically attracted to someone, but there are a few possible signs to consider, such as if you want to:

• Be in a relationship with them

• Develop an emotional connection with them

• Spend your life together

• Do "romantic" activities, such as kissing, cuddling, going on dates, etc

Meet Malik (biromantic)

Photo by Nimi Diffa on Unsplash

Malik is a cisgender (not transgender) man attending university.

His tennis team is having a end-of-year party, and he gets to invite a plus-one. He considers asking his "crush" from his organic chemistry class, Miguel, who recently got a really cute haircut. He's even joked with him about applying to grad school and living together, which would be a dream come true.

Or maybe, he could ask out Jen, his close friend and former roommate who has just come back from a year abroad with amazing stories to share about his trip. The possibilities are endless for the bi-romantic Malik!

The label "bisexual" is often used by someone who is sexually attracted to two or more genders.

What is sexual attraction?

The suffix "sexual" when used as part of an LGBTQ+ identity label refers to who someone is sexually attracted to.

It can also be tricky to identify whether you are sexually attracted to someone, but you may consider these signs, such as if you:

• Compliment their physical appearance with words like "hot"

• Want to have sex, do sexual activities and/or have a sexual relationship with them

• Notice yourself feeling sexually aroused when you're with them

Meet AJ (bisexual)

Photo by Ari He on Unsplash

AJ is a nonbinary and considers themself to be bisexual. Because of their work as an events photographer, they travel often.

Sometimes, they'll use dating apps to find attractive people to "hook up" with on a casual basis when they're in a new place, making it clear they're not looking for a long-term relationship. AJ keeps up with a few of them over social media, but is uninterested in long-distance relationships at this point in their life.

Yes!

Because biromantic describes who someone is romantically attracted to, and bisexual describes who someone is sexually attracted to, they don't have to overlap, but they may.

Many people don't distinguish between romantic and sexual attraction, and others know they are both romantically and sexually attracted to two or more genders. These people may use a label like biromantic bisexual, or use just bisexual as a term to describe that they are both.

Other people don't find themselves romantically attracted to the same genders that they are sexually attracted to. This is where a split-attraction model is helpful — in other words, some people "split" and label their attraction separately across sexual and romantic attraction.

This could look like:

• Being biromantic and not bisexual (eg. homosexual, heterosexual, asexual, pansexual, etc)

• Being bisexual and not biromantic (eg. homoromantic, heteroromantic, aromantic, panromantic, etc)

If someone is romantically attracted to different genders than they're sexually attracted to, they can still have romantic relationships, sexual relationships, and anything everyone else has access to in their one-label lives!

Like with any relationship, communication is key and expressing to your partner(s) in what ways you are attracted to them and what you're looking for in a relationship is important.

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

Vera is a transgender woman. She wants to attend an upcoming speed dating event, but isn't sure which group to attend. While she'd be happy to go on a date with someone of any gender, she is only interested in being sexually intimate with men.

She decides she is ______________ and attends the speed dating event, where she would find people she would be happy to both be romantic and sexual with.

Hint: The prefix "hetero" means different, so someone who is heterosexual is sexually attracted to a different gender, and someone who is heteroromantic is romantically attracted to a different gender.

Whether you're bisexual, biromantic, both, or an ally, there is so much diversity of who people are romantically and sexually attracted to. Learning more about this diversity is something to celebrate!