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Are you having feelings of doubt about your relationship that you just can't shake off?
Do you feel like the connection is missing?
Maybe it's time you took a closer look at your relationship.
Analyzing the problems can help determine if it's worth working through them, or time to part ways.
So should you break up?
The Truth Hurts
What will happen if you end the relationship? What would it mean for the rest of your life?
What is the story you're telling yourself?
You might feel tremendous shame about wanting to end the relationship.
Do you feel obligated to stay in the relationship because you've spent so much time and energy on it?
Don't allow the past or fear of the future to guide your decision-making. Make conscious decisions in your life according to your values and beliefs.
How Do You Know It's Time To Break Up?
Ask yourself if your partner has ever:
Been physically abusive
Broken your trust — cheating, lying, or keeping secrets from you
Been emotionally abusive —hurtful comments, slight nudges, or words that take away your confidence and make you doubt yourself
Made you feel uncomfortable being yourself around them —Do you feel like you're always walking on eggshells?
These actions are not part of a healthy relationship and only serve to ruin your self-esteem.
Scenario:
Sheila would describe her boyfriend of 8 months, Jose, as generally being attentive and caring. But something has been bothering her lately. Jose has occasionally joked and made hurtful comments about her weight. When she tells him how it makes her feel, he just laughs it off and says she is being too sensitive.
Quiz
What kind of behavior is Jose exhibiting?
Jose is guilty of emotional abuse. It may take many forms, like insulting, criticizing, threatening, gaslighting, ridiculing, shaming, intimidating, swearing, name-calling, and ignoring. The scars of emotional abuse may not be visible to the eye, but the effect it has on the victim can be traumatic. This type of behavior is used to gain power and control in a relationship.
Did you know?
Check For Compatibility
Compatibility is more important than chemistry when it comes to how successful a relationship will be long-term.
If you and your partner don't share similar values, lifestyles, and life goals, it might lead to feelings of resentment by both parties, later on down the road.
If you have faced any of the following problems then you need to rethink the future of your relationship:
Your needs aren't being met
Does your partner call you too needy or clingy when you want more quality time with them?
Do they deny you the physical affection you crave when you communicate to them your need to feel loved?
Or are you the one denying them?
You're always fighting
It is normal for couples to argue sometimes but if it's a regular feature it could prove harmful to your mental health.
If you're unable to work things out calmly between the two of you then it may be wiser to break up.
You've drifted apart
You both might have grown apart if you:
no longer enjoy spending time together.
find it hard to have a conversation.
have started finding your partner annoying.
You suffer from relationship insecurity
Are you constantly questioning their behavior when they’re not with you?
Do you doubt yourself and the value you’re offering in the relationship?
Do you keep tabs by stalking their social media accounts?
Did you know?
Take Action
When considering a break up, recognize where your life is at today, and what you want for your future. Stay present in the process and make decisions that support you and your feelings in this moment.
Are you in a healthy relationship? If not then maybe you should part ways.
Remember, in a relationship never compromise on:
This Byte has been authored by
Chitra Krishnan
Lifelong Learner