Set these 6 boundaries in your relationships

Do you have trouble:

• saying yes when you really want to say NO?

• expressing how you truly feel in the fear of being belittled or ridiculed by someone else?

• speaking up for yourself in order to avoid conflict?

• letting others borrow/take your things when deep down you don't want them to?

• feeling guilty when you make time for yourself or put your self first for a change?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you likely struggle to set boundaries with other people.

So what are boundaries?

• An invisible divider that separates you from another person

• "Rule book" or guideline that tells other people how they can treat you — what is acceptable and what is not

Firm boundaries can help establish how you expect others to treat you, and prevent you from being taken advantage of!

Intellectual Boundaries

• Involve thoughts and ideas, including respect and willingness to hear and discuss ideas that may differ from your own

• Having an awareness of which topics to discuss and with whom (i.e. what is appropriate in different settings)

  E.g., "I don't want to discuss my dating life."

  

Emotional Boundaries

• Refer to feelings and emotions

• Involve respecting and validating your own feelings, as well as those of others

E.g., "This is really difficult for me."

Material Boundaries

• Items and possessions you own such as your car, clothes, phone, etc.

• Deciding what you can and cannot share with different individuals

  E.g., "I'm sorry, you can't borrow my car."

Physical Boundaries

• Your needs for personal space and comfort with physical touch

• Letting others know when these boundaries are being crossed

E.g., "Please don't touch my leg."

Sexual Boundaries

• Includes consent, agreement, respect, privacy, understanding of preferences

• Saying no to things you don't want to do

E.g., "I'm not ready to have sex tonight."

Time Boundaries

• Understanding your own priorities

• Ensuring you set enough time aside for yourself and the things you want to/have to do

E.g., "I can't come on Saturday."