How do I discover my micro-motives?

Do you want to live your most fulfilling life?

In his 50s, middle manager Saul discovered a new hobby: furniture upholstery. After over a decade of struggling to find fulfillment in management, this new hobby reminded him of what he loved and missed about engineering: manipulating objects with his hands. He found his micro-motive!

Micro-motives are personality traits that speak to activities that bring you the most fulfillment. Some examples of micro-motives are:

• Making your surroundings beautiful — perhaps by selecting the perfect lighting, colors, or furniture in a space

• Making something out of nothing — perhaps by taking random ingredients and creating a delicious, well-plated meal

• Taking things apart to understand how they work — perhaps by spending hours tinkering in the garage fixing tech like computers or cell phones

Uncovering micro-motives isn't easy — it requires ongoing deep reflective practice. Though the benefits are worth it. You will:

• Experience greater overall personal fulfillment in all areas of your life

• Build a life of purpose and achievement

• Become your most authentic self

One way to discover your micro-motives is to be mindful of where you tend to pass judgement, as these instinctual thoughts can be revealing of what matters to you.

Next time you pass judgement, remember that this reveals something about you.

• Subtle preferences or dislikes

• Deeply rooted feelings and desires

• Activities that motivate or make you happy

In other words, your possible micro-motives.

The next time you find yourself judging someone or something take the opportunity to play the Judgement Game.

1. Become aware of your judgement.

2. Identify the feelings you are having. Focus on what you like or dislike about this person or activity. Dig deep. Be attentive and specific. 

3. Ask yourself why you are having those feelings. Be honest with yourself!

You may want to write down your thoughts.

You are now a step closer to uncovering your micro-motives!

It is Friday night. Nadira is stuck at home with her noisy siblings because she is sick. She ends up watching Princess Li, an influencer on YouTube. Princess Li is in her new car with the windows down and driving to her favorite spots in the city.

• Her first thought is, "Ugh, she is so lucky. I wish I had that car."

• She digs deeper and realizes, "I wish I could just be out."

• She digs even deeper and understands, "I miss going for coffee with my bestie on Mondays at Central Perk. I miss our drive home and listening to our favorite music."

It is time to discover your micro-motives!