HELP! My friend made an inappropriate comment 😮 How should I respond?

“You’d look better if you lost a little weight...Haha, I'm just joking, don’t take it so seriously!”

If you’ve ever been hurt by such an inappropriate comment from a friend, you’re not alone. Sometimes, the people closest to us cross the line and don’t even realize it — or worse, they do, and expect us to stay quiet.

You can speak up, protect your peace, and keep your self-respect with confidence and calm. Knowing how to respond in these moments can help you set clear boundaries without creating more tension.

Don’t take it personally. 🧠

Their comment may reflect their insecurity, not your worth. Remind yourself: "Their words don't define me." Take a few deep breaths or step away to collect yourself if needed.

Try to understand the intent. 🔍

Was it an awkward joke or a need to feel superior? Knowing this helps you decide: ignore, address, or walk away.

Stay calm, not cold. 🎭

Use neutral language: “That didn’t sit right with me.” or “Let’s not joke about stuff like that.”

This may be challenging when you're hurt or angry. Remember to breathe deeply to stay emotionally regulated through the conversation. Calmness and clarity make your point stronger.

Only explain if you feel safe. 🤝

You could say: “That comment was hurtful, and here’s why…” Or simply: “Let’s talk about this later.” Your emotional safety comes first.

Take care of yourself. 🧘‍♀️

Whether it’s journaling, calling a friend, or going for a walk, self-care isn’t selfish. It’s how you reset and protect your peace.

1. Say something direct, not aggressive.

Let them know their comment crossed the line. You don’t have to be harsh, just honest.

Example: “Hey, when you said that, it hurt. I know you might’ve been joking, but that wasn’t funny to me.”

Polite ≠ passive. 🎯

2. Set a clear boundary.

Tell them what’s not okay and what you won’t tolerate moving forward.

Example: “Please don’t comment on my body. I’d rather we don’t joke like that, it makes me uncomfortable.”

Boundaries protect your peace, not your ego. 🛑

3. Stay calm, even if they don’t get it.

If they get defensive or say “You’re too sensitive,” don’t match their energy.

Example: “I’m just asking for respect. It’s not about sensitivity, it’s about what I need in a friendship.”

Calmness = control. 🧊

4. Distance yourself if it keeps happening.

If they continue to disrespect your boundaries, it’s okay to take a step back.

Example: “I’ve talked to you about this before, and I need some space.”

Protecting your mental health isn't being dramatic, it's being wise. 🚪

5. Re-evaluate the friendship.

Give some thought to whether this friendship is supporting you or hurting you, and decide if it's something you want to continue investing in.

Ask yourself: Do I feel safe, valued, and respected in this friendship? If not, you may have outgrown it, and that’s okay.

Friendships should support your growth, not stunt it. 🌱

You’re hanging out with a group of friends when someone turns to another person and says, "You don’t look Indian. Are you sure both your parents are from there?"

A hush falls for a second. The person seems uncomfortable and looks down at their plate.

Photo by Alex Haney on Unsplash

What’s the best way to respond?

A. Say nothing. It’s not your business anyway.

B. Say, "Awkwaaaard!", then laugh it off and change the subject to keep things light.

C. Say, “Hey, that question’s a little off. Let’s not make assumptions like that.”

D. Wait until later and tell your friend it made you uncomfortable.

Inappropriate comments can hurt, even when they come from friends. You have the right to speak up and set boundaries, responding with empathy and strength. You don’t have to let it slide, and you don’t have to be mean to stand up for yourself or others.

Next time you're faced with an inappropriate comment from a friend, respond with these steps: