Do you remember Marshall and Lily from How I Met Your Mother?
They had true love that everyone hopes to find one day.
It's because they had a
SECURE ATTACHMENT style!
Their relationship had good times and bad times. But through it all, they trusted each other, openly showed affection, offered support, and gave each other space.
Did you know?
In a classic 1987 relationship study, 56% of respondents identified themselves as secure, while 25% identified as avoidant, and 19 percent as ambivalent/anxious.
Secure Attachment Style
Attachment styles are patterns of how we think, feel, and act in close relationships.
Secure attachment style starts when, early in life, a child feels that their parent is a secure base, so that even though they’re happy to be with Mom or Dad, they also feel confident enough to explore the world on their own.
So what does a secure attachment style look like?
You're Comfortable Opening Up
You probably have no trouble telling people what's going on in your life or asking for support when you need it.
Quiz
Mia's partner Cam is under a lot of stress these days due to work pressure. Having a secure attachment style, how will Cam deal with it?
You Set And Respect Boundaries
When you need space or are upset, you won't hesitate to speak up. And in return, you’ll understand that when others state their own boundaries, it’s your job to step back.
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You Don't Succumb To Jealousy
When your partner goes out with friends or on a trip abroad, you feel safe knowing that your partner will be faithful. You're trusting until given reason not to be.
Did you know?
It's normal to feel jealous sometimes, but secure partners stay rooted in the reality of the relationship.
You Make Your Partner Feel Safe And At Home
You don't criticize or lead your partner. They can open up to you and be their genuine selves.
After a long day of work, you're like a breath of fresh air, someone your partner can count on to be their rock.
Quiz
Which of these is a sign of secure attachment style in a partner?
Take Action
Secure attachment style can provide you with more open, honest, and satisfying relationships.
If you want to develop a secure attachment style in your relationships, start today by restructuring your thoughts:
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